Notes From Self Digest #5: Glimmers
When past signals become present clarity.
Welcome to Notes From Self, where my past and present selves converse across time. Each week, I revisit journal entries from seven years ago, sharing daily-ish reflections on Substack Notes about how these past writings echo my current journey. This digest collects these time-traveling dialogues, creating a map of connections between who I was and who I'm becoming. I invite you to join this exploration of how our dots connect across time.
UPDATE: This will be my last NFS Digest1 for a while. I'm pausing this series for now to focus on other writing that's been calling for attention. Thank you for following along on this journey. I'll be back to these conversations across time, just not sure when.
In February 2018, I did something completely out of character: less than two weeks before the event, I bought a ticket to a conference where I would know no one and flew across the country to attend. I didn't fully understand why, but I knew I needed to go.
Maybe it was a glimmer of my future self sending signals back through time, an inkling that something important was waiting for me there.
So I opened myself up to the awkwardness of showing up alone, invested money I didn't really have to spare, and spent two days with complete strangers.
It's clear to me now that the Think Better, Live Better conference2 in San Diego was a tipping point for me. It introduced me to new ideas, new realizations about myself, and new people who would become central figures in my life today.
The ripple effects would take years to reveal themselves, but the first glimmers were there in those two days.
Back in my hotel room at the end of the second day after hearing countless inspirational stories from speakers and attendees, I glanced out the window. Storm clouds were gathering, but through them, I could still see the glow of the sun. The clouds couldn't quite hide the light trying to break through.
Sometimes we can only see a hint or a glimpse of what is to be. That’s what I kept sensing in the journal entries I’ve shared in Substack notes over the last few weeks (also below).
As I read them with the benefit of seven years of perspective, I could see:
Seeds of ideas that are only now starting to blossom and come alive.
Chance encounters with people that would become my chosen family.
Quiet yearnings that have become non-negotiable practices today.
Acts of bravery (showing up alone, meeting strangers) that felt terrifying then but have become essential navigation skills for the life I now find myself living.
And a BHAG (big hairy audacious goal) I'm still too scared to voice out loud, yet there it was, written in black and white seven years ago.
Reading these passages also stirred up some frustration. Why hadn't I started publishing sooner? Why didn't I explore coaching during that summer sabbatical? The shoulds started piling up, evidence, it seemed, of seven years wasted.
But what if these signals were patient reminders rather than urgent messages?
It’s much easier to see these connections looking back. But in 2018 they were merely inklings of possibility and potential. Gentle nudges from the universe whispering 'keep going' even when I couldn't see where the path was leading.
And if that's true, I wonder what glimmers might be waiting for me to notice today. What signals is my future self sending that are just beginning to break through?
Note From Self #21
I need to start writing! This morning ritual helps but maybe writing down this adventure - maybe just for me. Maybe as a blog. Maybe as a book. I don’t know yet. — Maghan, April 2018
Did 2018 me suggest writing a book? Was she high?
No, she longed to do what would take another 7 years to accomplish: to put words on paper and share them with her little corner of the world.
What I didn’t know then was it had nothing to do with writing, that I was doing daily. No, it’s about bravely hitting the post or publish button and actually letting your words be seen.
The book? Maybe someday. But for today, I bravely hit post.
Note From Self #22
I love this new side of me - going to things by myself, meeting new people, expanding myself - TBLB, Toastmasters, and this dinner I’ve met new people with fascinating stories and experiences all open, kind, and caring. — Maghan, May 2018
Was it a new side? Or just one I'd locked away after convincing myself I was too shy?
In the months leading up to this entry, I had started showing up to places where I knew few people — sometimes no one. A conference in San Diego, monthly Toastmasters meetings, and this dinner hosted by the incredible Jacquette Timmons (who I met in San Diego).
What I found was that the act of showing up and the people I met doing so were changing me in ways I couldn't yet imagine.
Seven years later, I’m once again putting myself in the awkward position of being a newcomer. I’ve joined the expat community, InterNations, reached out to fellow Gallup coaches here in Vienna, and joined trips where I knew no other travelers. It’s not easy and yes, there is a big part of me that would rather stay inside.
But then I’d miss out. On the connections, the experiences, and the stories.
On the chance to show up for myself and what doing so might bring.
Note From Self #23
I am drawn to help. Last night I kept wanting to jump in with a thought, a suggestion, a question. Is coaching what I am called to do? — Maghan, May 2018
It shocked me to read this. I didn’t think the call to coach showed up until months later.
I also didn’t know much about coaching back then. From other notes in this entry, it was clear I was thinking about providing suggestions that were based on my own experiences and way of being. Not theirs.
All that I’d figure out in time.
But still, the glimmer of it was there.
Note From Self #24
I need to write to Jacquette. I need to think more, no not think, let it germinate in my brain - on how this experience expanded me, made me think. — Maghan, May 2018
Not sure if 2018 me followed through, but I just left my wonderful (now) friend a Voxer note sharing how much her Comfort Circle™ dinner seven years ago impacted me.
We don't always know when a moment or a person changes the course of our lives. But sometimes we have an inkling. Sometimes we feel the shift happening even if we can't yet name what it is or where it will lead.
Is there someone who said or did something, something that created a moment that changed you, even if you didn't recognize its full impact at the time?
Let them know.
It's a rare and precious thing to receive these messages. To know a life has been positively impacted because of something you did or said.
And when you reach out, be specific. Share the details of what they did, how it felt, and what it opened up for you. The specificity is what makes it real — for both of you.3
Note From Self #25
I should look back at Charlie Gilkey and Mike Vardy’s posts as they talk about organizing your day. — Maghan, May 2018
What would you think about your life now where you’re the one writing these posts that are way more than about organizing blocks of time on the calendar?
That you’re now the one coaching people, helping them clear space, not just in their day but in their minds. First getting clear on what matters, then clear on how to make space for it.
That this Charlie who you met at a conference back in February 2018 would over the next seven years become a mentor, a coach, a friend, and also boss, inviting you in to bring your full self to this very work?
What would you say if you knew that what you were searching for in these posts had nothing about your day and everything to do with your life?4
Recognizing The Glimmers
These conversations with my past self have me wondering about the signals we receive but don't always recognize in the moment.
What glimmers might you have overlooked in your own story? Perhaps there's a conversation that stuck with you, a project that keeps calling your attention, or a dream you wrote down but haven't dared to speak aloud.
Looking back at your own journey, what patterns can you see that weren't obvious at the time? And what glimmers might be trying to get your attention right now?
Hitting Pause on the Digests
I'm going to pause sharing these Notes From Self for now - both in Substack Notes and as weekly digests. While I love this experiment and the beautiful responses it's generated, it's been taking more attention than expected and keeping me from other writing that's been bubbling up for years (some of it since 2018!).
I'll continue the private practice of revisiting these journals, but I want to follow some of those other glimmers that have been calling for attention. Thank you for all the encouragement and messages - they've meant more than you know. I'll be back to this story, just not sure when.
~Maghan
This conference was hosted by Marc and Angel of Marc and Angel Hack Life. Shows that sometimes those connecting dots can be people. Through them I connected with so many others, and as I shared above, quite a few that have been and some continue to be part of my journey today including:
Charlie Gilkey of Productive Flourishing and Jacquette M. Timmons who I mentioned above. Mike Vardy who helped me rethink time, Gary Ware of Breakthrough Play, and Marli Williams whose Stoke Quote cards I used as journal prompts and inspired many of the entries I’ve shared.
And you may want to let others know too… Jacquette (jacquettetimmons.com) may no longer host these intimate dinners but continues to change lives by helping people transform their relationship with money.
Continuing to shout out those who have opened up something new in me…Charlie Gilkey, I hope by now you realize the impact you’ve had in my life. Thank you for inviting me to bring my full self to this work — that invitation has made everything above possible.
I think it's easy to be hard on ourselves looking back; more difficult to keep the faith and 'open' to keep spotting, and following, the glimmers. All power to you, and thanks for sharing 🙏